Hand-painted & Funny Phonographs


Hand painted floral phonographs from ebay sellers.

This machine has baby heads in it. BABY HEADS!!!! I told some friends recently that I would consider getting married just so I could request a machine like this on my registry. I already have mismatched antique dishes & linens, why not request heirlooms and strange sculptures, instead?

Laugh laugh phonograph record, taken by my friend Sam on her trips this summer.

Men singing through tiny megaphones on stage.

My sister, Shannon, models with my pretend-a-phone a few years back. When I first got interested in these machines, I ordered a replica one off of ebay (They are produced in Pakistan). I think it was around $150, and I was thrilled to death with it at first. It never worked very well, and the springs broke entirely only a year after I had it. It’s been sitting in my bedroom as a sculpture ever since. Sometimes I would stick my iPhone in the horn and let the speakers sing out through the bell. Reese and I took apart the reproducer last week, and it was made of tinfoil inside!! TINFOIL!! No wonder it sounded so bad!

Phonograph Player – Dancing Feet from Amelia Raley on Vimeo. In this video from a two years ago, you can see the pretend-a-phone at work. Notice how loud it is when I’m cranking it? The surface noise is pretty severe, and the crank makes a squeaking noise when wound. I had to keep winding it because the speed wouldn’t stay constant. Hope you enjoy my silly dancing 🙂
Anyway, the pretend-a-phone is off to greener pastures. I’ve constructed an Elizabethan style ruff out of the horn, and it awaits a long-anticipated photoshoot with Darla Teagarden!

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